Have a Good Life

This is what I don't understand.  Why do people tell you to have a good life after being exceedingly rude, when it's obvious that they mean the opposite?  If they've had no issue with saying such horrible things to you, why the pretense at being nice?  Or is it supposed to be ironic?  Huh.  If they're trying to be witty or something, surely they should have tried that route before they said all the mean things.  Or maybe they said the mean things first and they were witty.  And then it makes sense to say, "Have a good life" as a closing line.  But I'm still stuck on it.  I just don't get it.  Maybe they actually want you to have a good life, and are just using a sarcastic voice because they're afraid to let you know that they're wishing you well.  Or maybe it's a dare.  Like you can't have a good life without them.  Like... "Good luck on your life....without me."  Almost as if your life will never be as good without them in it.

But you know what? 

It will probably be better.  Because the person who says, "Have a good life" in a mean, sarcastic tone is a person who is better left outside your realm of contacts.  They probably didn't have your best interests at heart anyway.  And really? If they can't even be honest with you in their parting line (which the invariably meant to say - "Have a shitty life so I can feel vindicated and get some sort of vengeance even though I'm no longer in contact with you and will probably not even know that you're having a shitty life but I hope you do anyway.") then it makes you wonder what else they weren't honest about.

Like... when they said "Congratulations on your new promotion" did they really mean, "I'm so jealous that you got promoted because I'm so much better and way more talented than you and your shoes are ugly"?  Or ... "You look nice today" - is that really a euphemism for, "Every other day you look like crap, so I might as well throw you a bone for even trying to put something nice together".

The bottom line is this: someone told me to "have a good life" today.. and not in a nice way.  And you know what?  I'm totally going to prove to her that I will have a good life.  Simply by the fact that I'm not surrounded by people who would say that to me in the first place.

Also? 

That person can suck it.

Birthday Rants That Aren't About Birthdays

This morning as I was scrolling through my Facebook home page (lookin' at what people I don't have contact with beyond FB were up to and checkin' out my birfday wishes) I was struck by a post from one of the girls I went to university with (the first time around.)

She posted this: Jean Kilbourne's lecture on women in advertising.  And not women who write copy, but how women are portrayed.  And what she said struck a chord.  I mean, I know what kind of photoshopping goes into making these women more "palatable".  I've known for a long time that those images were harmful to the self-image that a woman has.  I was more shocked by the subversive copy that went along with it.  And how Kilbourne broke it all down.  The way that men (and even young boys) were presented in these very masculine poses while the women were always demure.  That there was a message that women should be seen, and never heard.  And while I'm always rather pissed at advertisers and their portrayal of women, I was even more angry when Kilbourne started pointing things out that I had never considered.

It also got me thinking of how I choose my books, and what kind of female protagonists I'm drawn to.  I definitely like the kick-ass-no-nonsense-got-plenty-of-flaws kind of girl.  And even those women always have a couple of guys hovering around her.  Now, I love me some urban fantasy, as most of you know.  And on any day of the week I'll take Elena Michaels (of the Women of the Otherworld series by Kelley Armstrong) over Bella Swan (of Twilight fame).  Elena kicks ass, doesn't take kindly to being manipulated and even though she's got an athletic body she still kind of wishes it had more curves.  Armstrong created a very believable female protagonist - and not just one, by the way.  Armstrong has created a number of great women who all have one thing in common - they know their own minds and will fight for what they believe in.  Also? Men tend to take a backseat to these girls.

And then there's Bella Swan.  I get the fact that she's a mopey teenager in love.  I do.  But, come on.   Stephenie Meyer has essentially created a female character that has set the equality revolution back by about 70 years.  Bella is seemingly unable to make it through life without a male counterpart by her side.  She falls into such a deep despair at the departure of her boyfriend that she becomes a living ghost.  But then... Jacob comes along and he lures her out of her funk.  Why couldn't it have been one of her female friends?  And for a girl that is apparently awkward and has somewhat of a low self-esteem, the fact that there are a number of males falling at her feet should have perked her up a little bit.  Don't even get me started on the teenage marriage part.  

I know there has been a lot of backlash where Twilight is concerned - and, honestly? Rightly so.  We should be providing the younger generations of women with strong role models who are able to go it alone and don't need a male to define them.  We should be empowering our younger sisters to love themselves no matter what they look like - because, truly, if you aren't beautiful on the inside, how will it ever show on the outside?  We should all be reclaiming our bodies from the despicable way that men use them in advertising.  We should be rejoicing in the fact that we are givers of life.  We are intelligent.  We are funny.  We are compassionate.  We are generous.  We are all beautiful.  We are women.  And we need to remember that it's okay to love ourselves exactly the way we are.  

Also?

It's because we're awesome.